We'll always have Baghdad. . .

I suppose the passage of time will help diagnose more conclusively the causes of my helpless endearment to the President; but here's what I know: John Wayne wouldn't have done anything different at that press conference in Iraq and he would have had a script. Being a cowboy should never have become a bad thing.

I can't recall who sings them but these are some fine lines from the forbidden genre:
"I should have been a cowboy
I should have learned to rodeo ride
I'd be wearing my six-shooter
Riding my pony on a cattle drive

Stealing the young girl's hearts
Just like Gene and Roy
Singing those campfire songs
I shoulda been a cowboy"

Oh Kay. . .

I hate to break it to Jane Seymour but the world already has a universal symbol of hope and love.

Happy Birthday Job!

Top Ten Ways My Life Would Be Different If I Didn't Have Job For A Brother:

10) Less rock more talk
9) The coach handball highlight reel would be bereft of the "Lance Allworth"
8) I would never have been treated like royalty at Houghton College
7) My seventeenth viewing of "Tremors" would have been by myself
6) None of my mixtapes would have anything by Everclear
5) My face would have half the laugh lines
4) I would never have been able to pull off the "blue steel" pose
3) My prospects for a night's lodging in the Lincoln bedroom would be nil
2) My ping-pong self esteem would be much much lower

and the #1 way my life would differ sans Jobie Won Kenobie

1) My Bedford Falls would be a Pottersville

I love you Job - I pray God's richest blessing on you today!

Fun with Eponymy

Ok - I'll give you the city and you guess which person the local airport is named after.

1) Paris
2) Rome
3) Venice
4) Anchorage
5) New Orleans
6) Tel Aviv
7) Liverpool
8) Delhi

To see is to be in debt

This from A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway. . .
"If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

I love you Dad

I'm planning on getting my Christmas tree this evening - the whole thing went so swimmingly last year that I've had to consider whether I was just lucky or if the whole process isn't nearly as complicated and confounding as my upbringing led me to believe. My poor dad. One Christmas season in Castleton I recall riding shotgun as my father drove me, Josh, and Job out to Orwell in the Ford Tempo. Our mission - find our tannenbaum out "in the forest somewhere". The first offering we brought back home made it inside but didn't remain long enough to melt the snow on its boughs. "Barry, I believe what you've got there is a bush" was my grandma's greeting. While all agreed that our organism certainly had the general shape of a Christmas tree it was, sadly, not in fact a tree. Back to Orwell. With Sunlight fading we happened upon the loveliest balsam one might ever hope to see. It was almost Christmas itself and it was huge! Probably twelve feet tall with branches extended way out wide like a hoop skirt. My time for this tale is short as I write this at the library and I'll have to leave out much of the case-study material for another telling; but one moment of valor must be sketched out for you. Like I said, this tree was massive and it is more accurate to say that, in preparing to take the thing home, we put the Tempo under it. As we draped it over the car, the only window that we could see out of was the windshield and that view was certainly impaired as well. But we headed for home with our prize. All was well until we started across the windswept plains of 22A in Benson. I'm not sure where we lost the old tree but the "when" was not in doubt as the car stood up and the light shone in from all around. Now the snow banks had all but taken away any shoulder that the road afforded and dad got off the road only a bit. We all hopped out thankful that traffic was light. We hefted and hoisted the tree back on the Ford and hurriedly began tieing her back down. Maybe it was the bitter cold turning our hands to ice or the eighteen-wheelers beginning to come in either direction; but we lost our heads a bit. In our haste we had successfully tied the tree snug to the car as well as all the doors snug to their frame. Yes - with the windows down and the doors shut we had run the ropes through the inside of the car effectively locking ourselves out. Josh instinctively began to untie the ropes to reverse our error when my dad stayed his hand. "I think we can climb through the windows boys" were the words I remember. What came next one could never forget - in fact I'm sure there are probably a few truck drivers telling the same holiday tale somewhere right now. My dad was a gamer that day and even the russian judge, I'm sure, would have awarded him a high score as he shoehorned himself into the Ford and my everlasting admiration.

Alexander the Great never had a more successful campaign

1965 Websters dictionary entry for "Sade":

Sade, Donatien Alphonse Francois (Marquis de Sade); 1740-1814. French Soldier, pervert.

2001 Websters dictionary entry for "Sade":

Sade, Donatien Alphonse Francois (Marquis de Sade); 1740-1814. French Soldier,notorious for his paraphilia.

Another lure for your tackle box men. . .

"Hey there - I thought this was a non-smoking area."

Samsonite Luggage

Thomas Paine once said: "Time makes more converts than reason." That may be so. I just tire of the nearly countless inhibitions binding those whose faith was found only after the exhaustion of all their fancies. Experience is a fine teacher if one is learning a trade or refining a discipline but is a terrible teacher if one is determining the veracity of the words of a viper. Such a student might say: "The Bible tells me that peace is only found in purity. But what of the whispers that it may be achieved more enjoyably in complete moral liberty? I can think of only one way to find out!" These are the same sort of folk who would determine the legal load limit of a bridge by experimentation. What needless destruction. If you believe in the word of God for forgiveness - believe in it for direction as well.

moonroof musing

One man's theology has us all hammers while another's has us all nails - actors or the acted upon. I, for one, fancy myself a hammerhead striving to fashion a handle for the God-sized hand.

The Life and Times. . .

I've been drafted to run the power point presentation at tonight's Augusta Care Pregnancy Center fall banquet. When first approached about this task I, of course, said "no, I really shouldn't" and the enlister, of course, saw that I did not speak as one with authority. So the question was asked again in a less interrogative manner and a more imperitive one and so now the city's pro-life faithful and the former attorney general of Kansas will be treated to many moments of awkward anxiety and mumbled summons for persons of competence.

Wouldn't you like to know. . .

I have but one bookcase in my study at the church. It's a good size - probably five or six feet wide and its height reaches the ceiling; but I have more books than it can hold. Tomes are piling up in stacks on the file cabinet, the edges of my desk, and now the floor. Whether to winnow my library or box up and exile the space-taking books to a back room of my manse in Martinez was the question. As I scanned the titles in consideration of all this - I was aghast at the chaff that had settled on my shelves. Winnow it was and tonight I am very much looking forward to toasting some marshmallows over the embers of what's left of my first ever backyard bookburning!

Ours is the depth - His the breadth

I find curious the faith that has me earnestly praying today for the one I so fervently prayed against yesterday. I am captive as always to the One who sees the whole of it. I praise the sovereign God.

From the pen of F.W. Bourdillon

The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the whole world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

816 Somerset Place

Engine engine number nine speeding down Chicago line - if the train should jump the tracks - do you want your money back? Y-e-s spells "yes" and you are not it!

Bubblegums bubblegums in a dish - how many bubblegums do you wish? T-h-r-e-e spells "three" and you are not it!

Kick The Can anyone?

How do you measure a candidate?

Our government is really not a democracy. It is, as I first read Francis Schaeffer describe it, an elective autocracy. In congressional or presidential elections, we are not voting on single issues like health care, education, or abortion - we are voting for people. These people will go to Washington as autocrats - beholden to no one. Therefore, it is our responsibility as voters to do our level best to discern what is the character of the candidate - to know the candidate's baseline for truth, his philosophy of governance, and his worldview. These men and women are going to make hundreds of decisions on our behalf, representing us. This being the case, it's absurd then to vote for a candidate who declares that his public opinion is different than his private one - for power is then ceded to pollsters. Candidates should declare for the voter what his convictions are and we may then vote for the one whose worldview best represents our own. But what of these candidates whose only conviction is to suppress their own conscience in the pursuit of faithfully ascertaining what is the majority opinion of their constituency and voting in kind? Enough! I'm particularly weary of these Catholic and Protestant Christian candidates who abhor abortion in their hearts but who claim that duty demands they vote to extend it.

"When statesmen forsake their private conscience for the sake of their public duty, they lead their country by a very short route to chaos." ~ Sir Thomas More

With Vertical Address

Teach me to scorn the senses' sway,
While still to thee I tend:
In all I do be thou the Way,
In all be thou the End.
- George Herbert

Swiftie Me! (or: This Blog is on the Rims for Real)

Once again - I'll supply you with some Tom Swifties to warm you up and then leave you with one or two to try and solve for yourself. Be ye either annoyed or mildly amused - either way this electronic enterprise has hit the skids.

"I'm one of the Beatles," said Ringo affably.
"I hate nouns and adjectives," said Tom proverbially.
"This sea-spray will ruin all the metal-work," said Tom mistrustfully.
"The Young Conservatives are throwing a party," said Tom meritoriously.

My everlasting love and affection for those who can complete these two:

"We'll never harvest all this hay," said Tom. . . .
"I shall get the barber-shop singers," said Tom . . .

Lapidary

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you:
but it you really make them think, they'll hate you."
~ Don Marquis

moonroof musings

Pulling up behind a Toyota stopped at the light at Wrightsboro and Kissingbower last night I noticed it had a Georgia specialty plate supporting animal welfare. The plate has the profiles of a dog and a cat kissing each other in a scene splashed in pastels. Affixed to the rear window was the iconic pro-choice circular sticker declaring "keep abortion legal". I suspect that those who are proponents of animal rights are abrogating their authority to avoid hypocrisy in their campaign to be free of God's authority.

New Company Car

It's a sad day here at the Tate house (I suppose I can call it that because of all the junk mail that I get that's addressed to "The Tate Family").

I had to say goodbye this week to my Chevrolet Caprice Classic. Manufactured in Texas in 1992, I started driving her back in November of 2000. Once convinced of the inadvisability of going ahead with the thousands of dollars worth of prescribed repairs - I traded her in on Friday with an odometer reading of 275,500 miles.

She had many names: the ghetto sled, desert sled, u.s.s. John Isaac - I called her Betsy. She wore plates from four states - Georgia, Vermont, Connecticut, and Arizona. She carried me safely and always without incident to countless camps and other ministry opportunities. She's skipped up the San Jacinto Mountains, skated through the Vermont backwoods, and raced across the Sonoran Desert. She was such a blessing and I thank God so very much for such a wonderful car. I'm going to miss that most sweetest of rides.

My new company car is a 2005 Ford Crown Victoria. This one was manufactured in Canada - I pray she see just as much and even more than the Chevrolet!

"I am neither proud of what I have done nor of what I am now doing."

Ok - according to Muslim legend - only ten animals have entered Paradise. I'll give you the non-biblical five and see if you can get those five mentioned in the Protestant canon.

Here are the revealed five:

The Cuckoo of Belkis
The Camel of the prophet Saleb
The Ox of Moses
The Dog Kratim of the Seven Sleepers
Muhammad's Ass

Here's a hint:
Two are from Genesis
One is from the wisdom literature
One is from the minor prophets
One is from the historical books

Lapidary

"By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich."

- Democritus (Of course this is only true when concerning material things. It would be a wretched statement if made concerning the blessings of God.)

The Sacred Desk

I'll be expositing Romans 8:12-17 tomorrow morning.

Christians allow themselves to be seduced sometimes by the siren whose song tells the toiler that he need not struggle - that holiness, while a wonderful thing, is not a necessity but a bit of a luxury. This, of course, is a lie. As a desert dweller can do without champagne but must have water - so the believer can do without acclaim but must bear the fruit worthy of it. Paul argues for the importance of holiness - declaring it a duty, a defense, an inheritance, and a fellowship. Without it - the Spirit is either proven ineffectual or one's faith less than whole - both evincing that one's hope of salvation has permanent fatal errors. It's a complicated issue - love complicates everything. The thing is not so befuddling so as to inspire despair however. We can be holy.

The Life and Times . . .

The police were called to my house over the weekend along with the Columbia County Crisis Intervention Team after several neighbors called 911 expressing their great concern after seeing me attempting to erect a volleyball net by myself in the backyard. After spending a night at the West Augusta Serenity Care Center I'm happy to report that, with the help of Jeremy and Casandra, I've got my mind right and will always solicit help in the future or find contentment in less ambitious endeavors like setting up chairs.

The Sacred Desk

This Sunday I'll be expositing Ephesians 5:15-17.

A little help. . .

I am blessed by God with remarkable health - the last doctor I saw with any regularity was a pediatrician (Doctor Mahalahti!). Thank you Lord!!!

I have had one minor affliction that has been my constant companion however - cold hands. My hands are often ice-cold in even the hottest of weather. Now, this has never bothered me much mind you - I mean - who cares right? But given the frequency with which pastors are called upon to shake hands - I have had to endure this a z-zillion times upon shaking the hand of silver-haired and helmet-haired alike: "Whoah! You're hands are freezing John!"

I need some help - I'm running out of things to say in response. The last couple times I got it I just said "thank you" - which elicited only tilted heads and looks of concern. So, help me out here - what would you suggest I say?

It's funny cause I don't know him

Ok - here's a word puzzle I heard on public radio the other day. It's pretty tough - maybe even blog-burying.

Think of a six-letter word ending in a silent letter that if you remove the silent letter becomes a five-letter word ending in two silent letters. What's the six-letter word?

Lapidary

"Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity."

~ Samuel Johnson

Live from Waycross, Georgia near the Okefenokee Swamp!

Once a year the pastors and delegates of the Advent Christian churches in the Georgia Conference meet to confer, I suppose, on the happenings of the previous year. Over the two days there will be reports from elected officials and church leaders, morning chapels, resolutions with a sometimes tenuous grip on reality, afternoon potluck lunches served by the ladies of the host church, spontaneous times of prayer called for by the president in response to an expressed need or challenge, a raucous sing on Friday night, lots and lots of laughter, elections without suspense, an ever-present refreshment table whose cup runneth over with homemade confections, a lively open-mic, a wonderfully thorough - and thus entertaining - parliamentarian, and lots of lore and stories.

I love the Georgia Conference and the way we endeavor together - it's a wonderfully colorful and committed group of people who often exhibit a good amount of faith in attempting to make the most of whatever opportunity we're presented from year to year. I'm really looking forward to the next couple of days with its agenda of encouragement, prayer, and potato salad.

You're so novel!

Alright - I'll provide you with a few "Tom Swifties" and then you try and complete the last one!

For example:)
"Open the soup," said Tom cannily.
"Yes, we have no bananas," said Tom fruitlessly.
"It can't be the circuit-breaker," Tom refused.
"It should have an apple in its mouth," said Tom pig-headedly.
"Are you an alto or a tenor?" inquired Tom.

Got it? Ok then - here goes!

"I just rested it on the windowsill," _________ _________.

I Will Bury this Blog

Do you employ the Oxford comma? Please comment and let me know!

"The 'Oxford' or 'serial' is the optional comma placed before the 'and' at the end of a list - named after the Oxford University Press house-style. It is especially useful for lists which might otherwise be ambiguous: e.g., 'My favourite shirts are from New and Lingwood, Hackett, and Turnbull and Asser'. Without the second comma it might appear that an elaborate Jermyn Street revolution had occured with Asser forced out on his own after Turnbull had joined forces with Hackett."

A Lapidary Use of the Language

"One cannot review a bad book without showing off."

~ W.H. Auden

I'm back home for a few weeks. . .

"God made the angels for their splendor,
animals for their innocence,
and plants for their simplicity.
But man He made to serve Him, wittily,
in the tangle of his mind."

~ Sir Thomas More

Lord willing. . .

I'm off to camp for four weeks in a row beginning tomorrow after church.
I start my summer with Georgolina Junior Camp:
Box fan in the window
Wallflowers and womp 'em
Sourpunch Straws at pool time
Award bibles and composition notebooks
Monday night arguments against calling home
Huckleberry and Mary Finns
Excited alligator and boar sightings
Shadetree waterbreaks
Crafts with miss Barbara
Bible with miss Julie
Sweet tea from mister Billy
Early mornings with God

Good shot red 2!

"There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

- Flannery O'Connor

A Cool Title for a Record

Hand Built by Robots

- the new album by Newton Faulkner

The Monticulate Man

His tackle box was short on lures
His diseases with no known cures
Alas and anon and on and on

The Sacred Desk

Tomorrow morning I'll be expositing the twenty-ninth psalm. I came across this psalm in the normal course of devotional reading and was interested in the use of the word "ascribe" in the translation of the first couple of verses. Nature stands as a nearly omnipresent puzzle for any merchant still shopping for the pearl of great value. Who (or what) is the cause, the source, or the author of this unsigned masterpiece of mountainside, meadow, and bay? Nature is an argument. David then proceeds to describe a fierce storm beginning over the sea in the north and sweeping south across the entire country. The voice of the LORD is thunderclaps so loud so as to cause does to go into labor, winds so strong so as to snap proud cedars in two, storms so fierce so as to make tall mountains appear to buck as a wild ox, rain and hail so heavy so as to strip forests bare, and lightning so bright and hot so as to crack the sky in two. Through nature, God speaks to man as man speaks to a dog - in decibel levels, spankings, and strokes. The shout of the thunderclap, the whisper of the snow, the babble of the brook, the roar of the ocean, the song of the whippoorwill, the chant of the cricket all declare "glory" along with the heavenly host. Nature is a language. Finally David finds, in nature, strength and peace. The God of the flood, that great display of nature's power, is his own Father - why should he be afraid? Nature is a monument as well.

Press Conference

When living in Arizona, I began a practice of holding "press conferences" for Chad, Tricia, and the church. As we were sitting around playing Mario Party, driving to Mesa for some late night disc golf, or taking our medicine at the local Sonic - I would say "Hey everybody. Let me have your attention please. I'd like to take this opportunity to declare that I'm officially coming out against fruit-flavored LifeSavers. Thank you." Or something like that. I found this to be an important and helpful way to inform my brothers and sisters about changes in my life and practice. I came out against many things while in Tempe - hot dogs, Third Day, swamp coolers, the state of North Carolina, to name just a few.

I'd like to continue the practice now through Keep The Car Running.

Hey everbody. Let me have your attention please. I'd like to take this opportunity to declare that after much deliberation and weighing of the consequences, I'm officially coming out against sweet tea. Thank you.

I love good quotes

"There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it, the other that you can boast about it."
- Bertrand Russell

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen

This isn't the high ground. . .

"I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything."
This was John McCain on ABC's This Week responding to questions about controversial comments made by John Hagee who has endorsed the senator for president.

Good grief - am I going to have to vote for this guy?

Pop Music's Redemption

I adore the Duffy album Rockferry that came out this Tuesday. I haven't enjoyed a record this much since I was in high school - love at first note.

Fun With Phonics. . .

From a George Bernard Shaw joke I read a couple days ago - "ghoti" could be an alternate spelling of what common english word?

The Life and Times. . .

So it's starting to get hot again down here which means I'm starting to get this a lot: "Man John - aren't you uncomfortable in those pants? You must be burning up!"

So I'm like: "Good grief - you don't see people always asking if Indiana Jones is too warm or nagging John Wayne about wearing shorts!"

So they're like: "John, dude, - those are like superheros man."

So I'm like: "Bingo."

So they're like: "Whatever - just don't start wearing Superman's tights alright? If you ever want someone to talk to - my dad knows this guy."

The Sacred Desk

This Sunday I'll be expositing Acts 16:16-24.

Seeing as how there are no more habitable unexplored continents that a persecuted church could set sail for - we best take our sanctification as believers seriously. I see three major fault lines running under America's culture and philosophical constitution that are sure to bring quakes of persecution should God ever visit our church with another great awakening. 1) Spirituality has become a natural resource. 2) Affluency has become a matter of national security. 3) Camelot has no absolute but Camelot. By arguing for "spirituality" to be an end in itself and not merely a means to our own ends - we are sure to raise the ire of those who are losing what they see as a valuable resource (much like the hatred directed to abolitionists who dared humanize the black man making him someone worthy of respect and fellowship instead of something that could be used to advance one's own selfish ends). Further, with our economy now securely built on an unbiblical frame, any great awakening would be sure to create what might be called a "revival recession". Our government has made it very clear that it will exert great force to secure unimpeded prosperity. Finally, our country has become proud and taken credit for the successes of a law and culture based on a biblical absolute. Now that we have decided that the American Way is above and beyond the religious and that we are capably governed by our own common sense - an absolute state is not far off. One absolute won't abide another that stands in judgement of it. Let us all be prepared for the sifting that we indeed are praying for if we are praying for revival.

America Idle

This little essay titled Intemperate Listening is from The Art of Listening by Filson Young and was printed in the 1928 BBC Handbook. The value of its insights can only be matched by the wonder of its improbable publication.

"No one, however leisured his or her life, ought to listen all the time. There would be something excessive and intemperate about such a person. Yet like so many other things, listening to wireless transmissions may become a habit, and a bad habit. Fear that one may be missing something by not listening is one cause; but a more insidious one is the feeling that something is going on somewhere, and that rather than take the trouble to do anything else for oneself, one might as well listen to it. That, of course, is as great an injustice to the art of Broadcasting as it is to the listener himself. It is a misuse of what, properly used, can be a very real boon to the aesthetic life af any household. I would urge listeners to cultivate the art of using their wireless receivers intelligently and artistically, so that the immense care and trouble that are taken in compiling and presenting the programmes shall achieve their true direction and effect."

Georgian's own brand of cabin fever not far off now. . .

"What dreadful hot weather we have!
It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance."

~ Jane Austen

From the greatest state in the Union. . .

The painting which now adorns the frontispiece of KTCR is an original work done by the hand of one Tricia Irving of Tempe, Arizona! Tricia, also known in the fellowship of the Wu as Ghostface Killah, sent it to me for my birthday and I absolutely adore it. Special thanks to my "We build! We fight! Can do!" brother Job for spanning the great chasm that is my technological ineptitude and hanging the painting. Happy Mothers Day from Vermont!

~ Inspektah Dek

Lord willing. . .

I leave tomorrow morning for Massachusetts. I'll be giving the commencement address at my alma mater - the Berkshire Institute for Christian Studies. That an institution like BICS exists at all and that I should be so blessed to have known it as an enrolled student is a wonderful and gracious act of providence. This year marks BICS twentieth anniversary - I earnestly pray it lasts long enough to minister to several more generations. God bless that little house of bread in the Berkshires!

Gleanings from readings. . .

I read in the USA Today recently that in 2006 the amount of unclaimed lottery winnings in the United States totaled over 570 million dollars. "Wowie zowie!" as my niece Lucy Gates would say. But that sum would be seen as a dull penny if put up against the number of blessings unclaimed by Christians.

In Luke 11 Jesus tells the parable of the man who knocks on his neighbor's door at midnight for bread to serve a friend who has just arrived from a long journey. He is refused at first but is persistent and continues to knock until he shakes the man from his sheets and receives the bread he needs. Christ tells this tale in the context of a conversation He's having on the practice of prayer. We are being taught to be as persistent in our entreaties made to our heavenly Father. "And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it shall be opened." (9 - 10) This seems simple enough until Jesus reveals what it is that should cause us to go knocking desperately at the midnight hour: "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" (11 - 13) The Holy Spirit is what God is promising to provide - in this lies the problem.

In the times I've spent at the altar with people who have come forward after their consciences have been quickened, hearts broken, minds rankled by the preaching of the Word - I've heard many of them cry out to God, earnestly asking Him for self-control, or peace of mind, or love, or joy, or the ability to be faithful. Sadly, many of these people will leave that altar knowing that their prayers didn't get above the chapel ceiling. They earnestly desire the ends but despair of the means. All that they so desperately want in their lives is clearly the fruit of the Spirit. The Israelites couldn't ask for milk and honey in the wilderness when it was promised to them in Canaan and we can't ask for a victorious Christianity in independence when it is promised to us in submission. I can't think of any treasure that we truly want that isn't promised to us through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Why are we so often terrified of claiming the winnings?

Evocative lyric for the day. . .

"She was sitting cross-legged on the hood of the Ford
filing down her nails with an emery board."

~ from Young Love by The Judds

The Sacred Desk

The sermon tomorrow will be an exposition of Deuteronomy 7:1-5.
None of us are held hostage by our sin - every sin in our lives is an invited guest. The Israelites could not complain when pagan peoples and elements poisoned the promised land and became a thorn in the sides of generations to come. God had defeated those seven nations that were greater than them. Israel let them up off the mat. When we become believers we find our "promised land" in much the same shape that the Israelites found theirs. We find that it is not unoccupied but filled with many well fortified and defended strongholds of sin, deception, and rebellion. All of these strongholds are stronger than we are but God has defeated them. It is our calling and life's purpose to "tear down", "smash", "hew", and "burn" all those institutions of our former disposition and build and inhabit that city on a hill from which flows milk and honey.

OED anyone?

An "icononym" is a brand name that, because of the brand's overwhelming success, has come to identify its particular product and all other products like it.

Don't ever venture out of the house on any errand without something to read (or little children to entertain) lest you find yourself using a waiting room to do only that - wait. But if you should forget your book, magazine, or offspring one day - try and come up with as many icononyms as you can - it might be sorta fun if you're easily amused.

Here are just a few to get you started:

Q-tip
Kleenex
Bondo
La-Z-Boy

The Life and Times. . .

So the showerhead in my bathroom is kinda broken and spraying water everywhere. It's a good thing there's another shower in the house that I can use for the next four months while I do the repairs.

Ooh Rah. . .

Friday morning of last week I drove the two and a half hours southeast to Parris Island, South Carolina to watch my good friend Walton Satcher go from recruit to marine as he graduated from boot camp. The ceremony was stark and absent much of the pomp and circumstance that I expected. That doesn't mean it was forgettable. One sight etched in my memory came in the minutes leading up to the service. I arrived over an hour early and found Walton's family and took my seat with them. The grandstands that flanked the large reviewing deck were full of men in slacks and collared shirts and women in sundresses. It was a beautiful sun-splashed affair and the occasional sea breeze off the nearby Atlantic was a welcome refreshment. All around there were light hearts and loose tongues as strangers shared the histories of their marines with one another. Digital cameras were click-clapping away, water bottles passed around with snacks, and everyone fidgeting. What will never escape my memory was the ominous sight we all could see some two hundred yards off to the right of the deck. During this entire time the whole of company D including six platoons of marines in full dress uniforms stood at perfect attention along a stand of crape myrtle trees quaking gently in the breeze. I'm not sure I've ever been so near anything so fierce in appearance my whole life. I haven't been able to shake the thought of those men that day nor has my heart cooled from the fervor of the gratitude I felt for their commitment and sacrifice. I pray they be instruments of God's wrath alone and know the blessedness of peacemaking in all their endeavors. God bless you Walton.

The Sacred Desk

Tomorrow's message will be an exposition of Proverbs 9:13-18. Christians would do well to consider that during our pilgrimage here on earth we are more prey than predator and to prepare accordingly. Clamor preys on the simple, temptation on the discontented, folly on the ignorant, and death on the loveless. Christians stroll through this world of danger as a tourist might stroll through a zoo full of ferocious animals - unarmed and unalert. The lion is in a cage at the zoo of course; but there is no such restraint for our enemy. "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1Peter 5:8)

From my morning shave with NPR. . .

Okay - what six-letter hyphenated word meaning "eager" can have two of its last three letters changed to create another six-letter hyphenated word meaning "none too eager". What are the two words? Here's a culture clue for those who once called East Hubbardton Road home - think George Wendt, Michael Keaton, and "We're breaking the ice! It's all brand new oooh oooh ooh!" That should help.

The Life and Times. . .

So a couple of the teens in my youth group were encouraging me to wear some trendier clothes ~ "like a NorthFace jacket or something."

"I don't think so" I said, "there's no way I could pull something like that off. I'd be such a poser."

"John, dude," one of them replied, "you're not pulling off the clothes you're wearing now."

OED anyone?

A "retronym" is a term created to clarify an existing word rendered obsolete by advances in technology or changes in social practice.

When I was in California recently I challenged the mountain people to come up with as many retronyms as they could - Lisa was a savant with this by the way. I think it's a fun way to pass the time when the present isn't good for much more than the passing. Here are a few to get you started:

Acoustic guitar
Organic food
Snail mail
Summer Olympics
Free-range chickens
Coca Cola Classic
Traditional marriage

I used this in an introduction to a sermon I preached recently in which I attempted to explain the prevalence of the retronym "personal relationship" in Christian conversation and literature that discusses our relationship with God. It's a term made necessary by philosophical movements such as the enlightenment which savaged the personality of God reducing our Creator to little more than a force. I, at least, thought it was interesting - and that's the only goal I have in preaching - to keep myself awake.

Zarathustra wasn't all wrong. . .

"One repays a teacher badly if one remains nothing but a pupil." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche was a german philosopher who employed his gifts of writing and rhetoric to expose the weaknesses of Christianity. His success in this was limited to his treatment of the Christians who served as living evidence and testimony to the faith. These "little Christs" were way too little for Nietzsche - lazy, sloppy, emasculated, saccharine, and apathetic. Given the gravity of scriptural claims, how could these people who confessed that the Bible was true live such dispassionate lives? Christians must stop being content to be career internists - always studying, growing, and workshopping but never venturing. As disciples of Christ - we are certainly repaying our teacher badly. As George Bernard Shaw has said ~ "Christianity would be a great thing if anybody ever tried it."

The Sacred Desk

I'm preaching on Genesis 8:20-22 tomorrow. A centaur is neither man nor horse but something entirely unique. God, as this passage evinces, is neither wrath nor compassion, justice nor mercy, sorrow nor jealousy but a wonderfully unique tempered alloy of these characteristics - the forged sword of which executes His will perfectly. As we seek to know the Father may our charge be "not in part but the whole"!

My vote for best rock lyric of all time. . .

"It's these expressions I never give that keep me searching for a heart of gold."

~ Neil Young

Enhance your uni-media experience

Hey - if you want to see some live streaming video of my fair city - ESPN is airing coverage of the Masters golf tournament today from four to seven and CBS will do the same Saturday and Sunday. It's safe to say that my yard at the parsonage is a little more botanically diverse than over at the Augusta National - they hold a very dim view of dandelions I'm afraid.

Happy Birthday Mom!

I always looked forward to having my fingernails cut when I was a little boy. My mom had this special pair of scissors that she kept in a little case that sat atop the dresser next to my parents bed. The scissors were small but heavy and the blades were curved ~ I thought they were so neat. But the thing I loved the most was that brief moment stolen from an always crazy day when my mom and I would sit on the edge of the bed and she'd carefully clip my nails and we'd chat about this and that. Those nails never grew fast enough and the passing of those moments was never slow enough. I love you Mom - happy birthday!

The Life and Times. . .

So I was sitting in the Dunkin Donuts the other evening working the day's crossword puzzle when a young mother with a stroller and two little ones in tow sat down at the table next to mine. Her little girl was fascinated with the object of my industry and soon sidled up next to me and innocently shouted out to her mom: "What he doin there Mommy?" "Oh," she replied "he's just playing one of those games that Grandpa likes to play." Yikes - I certainly hope I'm not Dowling Park material just yet.

Lex Rex

Did you know that King David mentions the law of God in all 176 verses of Psalm 119? When I hear mention of the law ~ my mind entertains notions of oppression, obsolescence, and negativity. For David, however, God's statutes are cause for singing and shouts of joy. Obviously David wasn't looking to the law for salvation - he was an acknowledged sinner whose faith was in the promised savior. Why, then, did he meditate on the law both day and night? I believe David recognized God's commandments as the surest way to know the personality and character of his heavenly father. God's laws are not arbitrary or just made up; but are rooted in His unchanging nature (God hates adultery because of His fidelity, e.g.). Without the law and as ones orphaned from the divine, the only clues we'd have of what pleases, vexes, and interests our heavenly Father would be from our own consciences and the natural order. Hardly enough there to satisfy the heart's desire for fellowship with the Lord. Christians enjoying the freedom won for them through the promise of the new covenant often neglect the law - what a shame. I'd really love to have the heart and mind of God and find the discernment and application of His will to be less of a struggle. I'm determined to make the meditation of the law a more regular part of my devotional life - it's easily the second greatest gift given to mankind.

The Life and Times. . .

The girl working at the grocery store checkout line last night asked me why I hadn't brought my son with me. "He's so cute!" she said with a smile and a toss of the hair. "I don't know where he is" was my only response. We then embarked on an awkward conversation about my begotten in which I tried my best not to lie. I don't know why I didn't tell her that she must have been mistaken from the start - I suppose I just didn't want to let her down - she was so excited. The sad thing is that I'll have to find a new place to buy my peanut butter and cereal.

Never too clever

"A true poet does not bother to be poetical.

Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses."

~ Jean Cocteau

This is a helpful sentiment to consider as I finish preparations for this Sunday's sermon. I know where the temptation to gild the lily of scripture comes from - laxness in contemplation and anxiousness to entertain. I'm preaching from Romans 3:19-20 tomorrow. I was attracted to the idea of the law causing every mouth to be closed.

Austerity is rarely underrated

It's pretty monastic in here.

I'll try to hang some pictures to orient and entertain any company I may have and I'll try and find furniture for the empty spaces. The echo from these few words has such a disconsolate tone.

But know this - I'm an internet homesteader now and I'll try and farm these forty acres for the Lord.

Good night California, Vermont, and beyond!