Kill The Doppelganger

State of the Blog Address

2010-07-20T17:48:00.005-04:00

This blog had three objectives when it began. We're down to two now - the first objective having been lately achieved. I mean, I only really began blogging in a desperate attempt to bring my affection for Lisa down out of the ether and construct some sort of ramshackle connection with her. That chasm has been spanned - God knoweth how! - and so this thing is left now with very little to accomplish. My second original objective was to encourage my family and friends in their blogging by maintaining one of my own - I love it when they post! The third objective was simply to have a ready wilderness in which I could cry out. And so. . .

Why do you suppose Mel Gibson will be buried for his recorded rantings while Alec Baldwin was forgiven his? I suspect it has to do with Gibson's absolutist Christian faith. Am I right? Come on - let's be above reproach out there fellow Christians and run the good race for His name's sake!

Open Letter to Betty White

2010-05-13T16:23:00.004-04:00

Listen, Miss White - when endowed with grace by the blessing of many years ~ don't poach it for a paltry laugh or two. A perverted tongue garners the applause of idle minds - a pursuit a person of your age should have abandoned decades ago.

Protestants in Exile

2010-04-12T10:47:00.004-04:00

I'm not troubled by the retirement of John Paul Stevens but I'm struck by the fact that with his departure from the Supreme Court the nation will suddenly be without a single protestant justice. Whatever happened to protestantism in the public square? The Supreme Court is populated by six Roman Catholics and two professing Judaism. The Speaker of the House is a Roman Catholic as is the House's minority leader. The Vice President is a Roman Catholic. The Senate Majority leader is a mormon. Of course our president is a protestant but a maddeningly amorphous one. There are fewer and fewer protestant conservative voices as well. Newt Gingrich, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham - all Roman Catholic (that's just to name a few). Mitt Romney and Glenn Beck are Mormons. It's no wonder the public discourse is lacking simplicity and clarity of thought - I don't have much confidence in the thinking of people who make a labyrinth of liberty.

Musing While Waiting

2010-03-31T13:02:00.003-04:00

I'm beginning to think the government is determined to leave the church with nothing to do but shepherd its members in metaphysical matters of nonreason. "We'll take care of everything having to do with life in the real world thank you very much." Nefarious!

On another topic - I think I'm ready to declare my open appreciation for the musical offerings of Pink. Am I wrong?

You should have seen me change the oil on my lawnmower yesterday. A more unlikely success could hardly be imagined - I mean I'm daily gathering concrete evidence of God's love for me here. I know it was an awkward and uncomfortable experience for the machine - the thing was violated in all honesty - but just one rip of the cord after the long off-season and my weeds were all laid low. Praise be!

I Like Mom's Coffee Best

2010-03-25T13:41:00.002-04:00

There are no less than sixteen Starbucks locations in my fair city while she boasts only two Dunkin Donuts. I prefer a simple brewer to a barrista and a styrofoam cup to a cardboard sleeve and I'm still kinda a coffee novice who can't understand why one cup should cost so much more - so I usually go to Dunkin Donuts. On those occasions when I do patronize that cadillac of coffee shops - I always enjoy carrying on the following rebellious exchange:

Barrista: "What can I get started for you today?"

Me: "Hi. I'll have a medium coffee."

Barrista: "You mean a grande coffee?"

Me: "Yeah, I'll have a medium coffee."

Barrista: (Looks away fumbling with the stack of cups)

Me: "Thanks."

What's wrong with me? The stakes are definitely coming loose on my hospitality tent down here:)

Matthew 23:10

2010-03-09T14:51:00.001-05:00

For the first few years of my ministry the focus of my energies was not in listening but locomotion. Not content in the station or with creeping along the countryside I came to reside in the tender car lustily shoveling coal into the engine's fire box. Only when I had a full head of steam did I take a long look down the track laid ahead and wonder where it was I was going. I looked for the brakes and found none. I ran through the coach cars only to find I was alone. Though it was a lonesome desert valley I was speeding through I thought it better to derail there than blow my whistle through Babylon. It hurt when I jumped in front of that steam engine - all the more when I realized how hard I'd had to work to make it hurt that much. I've walked the wreckage for nine years now and I no longer have strength sufficient for the shovel. But when asked why I won't attend the leadership conference - I don't have to think before responding: "Because I'm not a leader."

I Took it Easy

2010-02-27T10:43:00.002-05:00

I was wrong about the Olympics. I enjoyed catching this event and that and I'm so proud of the United States. We did so well! I'm kind of looking forward to the next winter games which are going to be held in Russia. What will the world look like in four years? Perhaps it will have been made new.

Sweet and Low

2010-02-16T11:22:00.004-05:00

"What good is a dead bolt when the enemy is in residence?"

Her husband said nothing and proceeded to kill the porch light, turn the lock on the front door, and look at his wife still sitting on the kitchen floor.

"Can't we just go to bed?"

(By the way ~ I really overcooked the bit about the olympics. "Rancid heaping forkfuls" was an unfortunate overstatement. I sincerely hope the IOC will accept my apology and unfreeze my bank account already.)

Down Bubble For Me

2010-02-10T11:07:00.002-05:00

Look askance at me if you will but I can't stand the olympics. The broadcast plate set before me will have a few wholesome morsels of sport and competition but who can keep his appetite while picking through the rancid heaping forkfuls of controversy, humanism, mythology, and anticlimax. "Look! Look!" I'll be told. "See here - this is important! You can hardly grasp the significance!"

My life has enough stress as it is. I mean - I don't go trawling through hospital emergency rooms looking for more burdens to bear. So why become emotionally invested in an athlete's hopeless attempt to find meaning and redemption in life by winning a medal? I mean really - come on - it's so spent and wearisome already. I don't know - do I need a hug or what's going on?

Lord Willing

2010-01-16T11:27:00.003-05:00

After church tomorrow I'm off to the airport to take a jet plane to New England. I'd appreciate any prayer you can spare - I'll be ministering to the students at the Berkshire Institute for Christian Studies in Lenox, Massachusetts during their Spiritual Emphasis Week. Chapels, dorm devotions, dinners at Friendly's, and other opportunities will be given me, I hope, to challenge, charge, and encourage those people up there. Thanks

A Pundit Crying in the Wilderness

2010-01-11T08:36:00.002-05:00

Harry Reid shouldn't be seeking forgiveness from the president but rather from all the dark-skinned Americans speaking with a "Negro dialect" who he apparently sees as unfit for a candidacy to the land's highest office.

Postive Aggressive

2010-01-08T14:22:00.003-05:00

When the American male exchanged his gray flannel suit and derby for a hoodie and a baseball cap he most certainly was not trading up. As an aside (this whole blog's an aside actually), Rutland seemed pretty post-American to me this last trip home. A walk around downtown was like stepping into a Radiohead music video or something. Any Vermont natives, expatriates, or visitors agree?

I hope he was able to play a couple rounds today

2010-01-02T13:23:00.004-05:00

I sincerely miss having George W. Bush in Washington - quote's like the one he made about the proposed TARP funding and the state of the U.S. economy back in September 2008 make him my most beloved public servant: "If money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down." I get tickled every time. I really miss that man. . .

The Lucy Bull in me

2009-12-30T08:35:00.003-05:00

Maybe it was the desert ~ maybe it was a tent without stakes ~ maybe it was just me; but as I lay in the dark in a room with but a bed, a single song slew me. On loan from the Tempe Public Library was a recording I was playing of one of Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion programs. Providing a musical interlude that evening at the Fitzgerald Theater in Minnesota was Iris Dement. She sang her song "Our Town" and my heart filled my head with all the memories of my Grandma McCuen it kept hidden within. I loved the Saturday nights in Benson when Grandma would have us hush and she would tune in the Prairie Home Companion on the stereo. With daylight and the day's static fading - I'd sit enraptured by the storyteller and his guests. Well ~ I heard that song again today and I lay happily haunted once more.

When you don't have time for a DISC assessment

2009-12-21T08:24:00.003-05:00

I can learn almost everything I need to know about a person's disposition by how they answer the following question ~ Is a Reese's peanut butter cup a candy bar?

Thurl Arthur Ravenscroft Gets Honorable Mention

2009-12-18T15:52:00.005-05:00

Like a Siberian Russian able to hold obscene and toxic amounts of liquor - I can take in a bunch of Christmas music without cracking up. Here is a list of my favorite mainstream radio offerings:

1)"Do You Hear What I Hear" by Whitney Houston
2)"Celebrate Me Home" by Kenny Loggins
3)"Hey Santa" by Carnie and Wendy Wilson
4)"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" by Gayla Peevey
5)"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives
6)"All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey

Alright, I'm running out of time here at the Friedman Branch and you all are busy hating - but how about these terrible offerings at the bottom of the list:

987)"Happy Christmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon
988)"Same Old Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg (Besides Johnny Cash's "Sunday Morning Coming Down" - this may be the saddest song ever composed - keep the sharp objects out of arm's reach)
999)"Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney

Congratulations Paul McCartney and Wings

2009-12-16T23:16:00.002-05:00

Simply composing the most uninspired Christmas song of all time!

Confession

2009-12-07T22:00:00.005-05:00

I have Luke Wilson's wallet.

Ode to Sarah Palin

2009-11-18T12:18:00.001-05:00

No faith is safe in Harvard Yard
No conviction in Chapel Hill or New Haven

The unaddled sat in folding chairs
In Sunday school they viewed the world from heaven

Pealing Out

2009-09-28T17:25:00.005-04:00

From Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice comes this little gem of dialogue occurring between sisters Jane and Elizabeth Bennet the evening of Jane's engagement to Mr. Bingley:

"I am certainly the most fortunate creature that ever existed!" cried Jane. "Oh! Lizzy, why am I thus singled out from my family, and blessed above them all! If I could but see you as happy! If there were but such another man for you!"

"If you were to give me forty such men, I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness."

In accord with the prime directive. . .

2009-09-26T11:28:00.004-04:00

In an attempt to keep the Irvings up to date here - I've officially come out against restaurants and the Late Show with David Letterman this past week. Movie theaters are currently under review and the appeals process in the matter of Third Day has sadly ended in failure - my disfavor was upheld.

proofreading my own paper

2009-09-19T13:48:00.002-04:00

Pretenses are bad things only when one excels in making them believable. Awkward, stumbling and bumbling pretenses are considered cute in their desperate earnestness. Of course I would just as soon have nothing to do with them at all. But alas. . . my labyrnthine manner of society has made simplicity impossible in some matters. I'd like to say something like "I'm committed to being more straightforward in these areas" but I know that possession of a candid tongue is not acquired through aspiration but rather a settled conviction.

Deja vu at the dentist office today. . .

2009-09-15T17:00:00.003-04:00

Three things that are sure to happen while I visit the dentist for a cleaning:
1) The dental hygienist, having learned that I'm a pastor, will make available to me the dossier on her spiritual life and will wait to make the most ridiculous assertions about God and salvation until she has both hands, a mirror, and a pick in my mouth.
2) The song "Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls will be played faintly in the background but not faintly enough.
3) I'll have my bitewing x-rays taken and I'll think to myself what a cool word "bitewing" is.

This just in . . .

2009-09-10T14:05:00.005-04:00

At a press conference earlier today, John Tate announced that he was coming out against the USA Today newspaper. While never a subscriber, Mr. Tate has been a long time supporter and patron of the popular daily. Reading from a prepared statement, the pastor, flanked on either side by the untrimmed hedges that mar the appearance of the otherwise stately parsonage, declared : "The decision to end my twenty year relationship with the USA Today has not been an easy one. The paper has been a faithful companion for many a flight, coffee break, and meal eaten alone at a restaurant. Concerning those meals, I would like to personally thank the paper for all the pity it has successfully deflected over the years. But in the end, my ongoing campaign against the doppelganger was being compromised by my addiction to useless information. I'm afraid that USA Today is now USA Todon't." Mr. Tate also cited cost increases and what he called "subversive attempts by the editorial board to curdle the faith of Christians" as reasons for the break-up. A spokesman for USA Today expressed shock and disbelief at today's announcement: "We've heard grumblings from Mr. Tate in the past; but he always comes back. Where else is he going to read a critical treatment of the weekend's color commentary of sporting events or find out the truth about the love lives of reality stars? He'll be back." Tate sounded resolute however when fielding questions from the imaginary gaggle of reporters assembled on the east lawn. When asked if he'd pick up and peruse an already purchased and discarded copy, Tate replied coldly "I might poach it for the crossword." Tate was seen late today outside of the Dunkin Donuts on Washington Road with what appeared to be a copy of the Augusta Chronicle. The doppelganger could not be reached for comment.

From the desk of the spiritual archaeologist. . .

2009-09-08T18:58:00.003-04:00

Lasting holiness can only be achieved when abstinence at long last matures into abhorrence. To love what God loves and to hate what God hates is the only sabbath I know.

Obviously asea at sixes and seven here

2009-09-03T13:42:00.005-04:00

A helium-filled balloon tethered to a cellophane-covered basket of pre-packaged and artificially-flavored "goodies" should be honest and read: "Get well soon or this antiseptic sentiment may be the last you're ever given."

"A pig in a cage on antibiotics"

2009-08-31T15:40:00.005-04:00

I was watching a national news broadcast recently when the anchor breathlessly sent our attention to so-and-so on location at the scene. "What can you tell us?" asked the anchor aping concern. "Good morning" the so-and-so began. "It has been reported that maybe. . ." Now, it really doesn't matter what he said next and I couldn't tell you anyway ~ I'd quit listening. "It has been reported that maybe" is certainly everything that's wrong with the modern news media. A so-and-so speculating on someone else's understanding of a matter that is desperately trivial to begin with.
The more you know.

Hold fast the fellowship

2009-08-28T13:52:00.002-04:00

Fences make for good neighbors and awful disciples.

The Life and Times

2009-08-21T15:09:00.007-04:00

Alright, so I was having my windshield replaced at a car-care place and the "waiting room" was a few cast-off chairs set against the wall in the cramped payment office. Defense mechanized book in hand I decided to roam down the road looking for a place to park it and wait for the phone to vibrate "It's ready Mr. Tate." I happened upon Mt. Olive Baptist Church. It was a large church on a very large piece of property that was no longer properly maintained. Everything about the grounds was proof that every organism arcs, that no tree grows unabated to the stars. The place was kinda spent. Anyway, I circled the church in click-clackety dress shoes, khaki pants, and a nice button-up collared shirt - I was headed to the hospital first thing. I began to stroll through the church cemetary reading the epitaphs and sketching out what might or might not have been the biographies of the departed under foot. It was then that I noticed a teenage boy and a teenage girl walking carefully toward me - they were creeping, truth be told. They weren't really looking at me - they were actually staring. I wondered to myself if this was an avoid and conquer situation. It clearly was not. I turned and started walking towards the two. They stood perfectly still now - we were all alone. "Are you two members here?" I asked pointlessly. The girl leaned in and with voice quavering asked "Are you a ghost?"
C'mon. Are you serious? I'm being taken for an apparition now? I need to get out more. Shake things up. Something.

What happens in Eden. . .

2009-08-13T14:58:00.003-04:00

Why is a meadow or the forest floor always clean and my house always dirty?

On the Meteorological Industrial Complex

2009-08-10T16:13:00.004-04:00

I don't know what can be done about it, I suppose, but there has got to be a significant reduction in the amount of weather reporting in this country. There is absolutely no reason for a half-hour broadcasting of the local news to lead with the weather, tease with the weather throughout ("your weekend forecast coming up", "your seven day forecast coming up", "your live doppler radar update coming up", "the entire third grade clase at Lamarr Elementary reads the weather coming up"), spend like eight minutes on the weather, and close with the weather. And have you watched a morning "news" show like the Today show recently? You get a national forecast and the forecast in "your neck of the woods", "your zip code", "the little world outside your front door" at the beginning of every half hour and then the last five minutes of every half-hour is your local studio doing a full five minutes of meteorological improv with a little local cat-up-a-tree, crime, and traffic thrown in. I don't know - if this is what finally gets me back blogging maybe I should just pack up the car and head for Dowling Park already. It's like the line from that Gin Blossoms' song: "They tell the time too often on AM radio".

Strike the Tent

2009-04-04T11:20:00.002-04:00

I had the pleasure on Tuesday of sitting in my study at the church and listening to the piano tuner work on our sanctuary upright. Except for meeting times, there's no attempt at climate control in the large room and an unchecked Georgia summer sun will certainly relax a string or two if not cause the whole thing to spontaneously combust. For almost an hour he could be heard methodically striking his way through the scales. I suppose one couldn't call it beautiful music he was making; but it was awfully satisfying to hear sour note after sour note turned sweet as dissonance gave way to resonance. My heart and mind have been similarly warped by the often unchecked and oppresive glare of Satan - I pray the presence of the Holy Spirit and sing along with Robert Robinson "Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy grace."

From Inspectah Deck's New Charlotte Office. . .

2009-03-10T13:15:00.004-04:00

I strongly encourage you to find and read an article entitled "The Coming Evangelical Collapse" that is currently posted on the website of the Christian Science Monitor. The article is written by Michael Spencer. I'd love to know what you think.
http://www.csmonitor.com/2009/0310/p09s01-coop.html

It's a Blockbuster night at 10 Downing Street!

2009-03-10T12:36:00.004-04:00

Alright, so our president gave their prime minister a gift of 25 dvds. What's up Gordon Brown - you better come strong when Obama crosses the pond! You're going to have to do better than that red, white, and blue festooned Rolls Royce you have picked out. Show some class and have wrapped the latest Harry Potter book - and make that a hardcover kid!

Gleanings from Lost Hours

2009-03-07T11:04:00.004-05:00

"Come away with me and they won't see us for the dust!" Great line for sure. It loses it luster not a little, however, when it is learned that the inspiration for such an exclamation was a married woman and the caller a married man. The bloom is lopped clean off the rose when it is further revealed that the adulteress was shortly thereafter hacked to pieces with an ax whose wielder was the adulterer's deranged butler. The tragic couple: Frank Lloyd Wright and Mamah Cheney. The place: Taliesin in Wisconsin. Had they only read Anna Karenina or noticed Lazarus at the gate.

My sometimes Irish Idee Fixe

2009-03-05T17:25:00.010-05:00

As I stood in line at the Best Buy here in Augusta to dutifully buy the latest U2 album I got to thinking back over some of the other times and places I picked up one of their records. Here are the ones I could remember in chronological order:
1) The Joshua Tree purchased at the Idyllwild Pharmacy in Idyllwild, California. Trent McGath
played this album devotionally all summer and when he left to go back to Twin Peaks I
realized I was hooked.
2) Achtung Baby purchased at the Ben Franklin in Fair Haven, Vermont. This is still the single
record of transportation for me - and to think - I almost spent the $7.99 on licorice and such.
3) Zooropa purchased somewhere in the bleak and blighted north end of Pittsfield,
Massachussetts -probably the K-Mart. I can't hear the title track or Stay (Faraway, so
Close!) without thinking of BICS.
4) Pop purchased at the Wal-Mart in Toccoa, Georgia. I can't say if that was the first time I
felt old or the first time I realized I was already too old; but listening to
Miami in my dorm room I knew the spell was broken
5) All That You Can't Leave Behind purchased in Augusta. I always think of my time in
Wenham, South Hamilton, and Benson when I here this one. Listening to Walk On with
white knuckles as I steered the Caprice home to Benson after guarding the College of St.
Joseph's against itself all night as the snow piled up.
6) How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb purchased at the Target on Southern in Tempe,
Arizona. I always think of my drives across the Sonoran desert to visit Josh, Sarah, and
the Tates in California when I hear this album.

I know I bought other albums; but can't say where or when. I'm certainly not the biggest U2 fan in the world or even the family but they've provided a pretty cool soundtrack for several passages in my life. What images will be jogged when I hear a few notes from No Line On the Horizon?

All my original thoughts were used up yesterday.

2009-03-02T17:15:00.002-05:00

Here's a spiritual take on Shakespeare's line in As You Like It ~

Christians are April at the altar and December at the abacus.

an odd Mardi Gras memory for you

2009-02-24T15:04:00.003-05:00

From George Augustus Sala's America Revisited, 1883

"It was about ten minutes past nine when the Carnival began to boom in the form of a most tremendous clamour of brass bands. Shawm and pipe, psaltry, and ophicleides blown louder than ever; cymbal and triangles, and especially that very old friend of mine, the Big Drummer. He came along in the light of torches, drubbing away at the parchment as though for dear life. Last night he wore a splendid military uniform, and had on his shoulders epaulettes of red worsted as bright and big as prize tomatoes. But I was aware of him many years ago, when he wore a leopard skin mantle and a brazen Roman helmet, with a white plume. I was aware of him when he was in the service of a travelling dentist, when he administered a thundering whack to the drum simultaneously with the extraction by his patron of a patient's tooth. The whack drowned the patient's yell of agony."

Xanadu Community Church

2009-02-20T15:05:00.003-05:00

Alright - so Charles Dickens, by creating the character Ebeneezer Scrooge, gave the church in England a mirror with which to see how hideously deformed its visage had become.

So - can you think of a similar instance in which an author has done the same for the church here in America? I know it wasn't Orson Welles' conscious intent - but I think the character Charles Foster Kane - Citizen Kane - is a good nominee. The movie's autopsy of the blighted soul of one sold into slavery to the sole values of personal peace and affluency is powerful preaching indeed.

What do you say - other nominees?

The Curse of King Midas

2009-02-17T17:04:00.003-05:00

In 1685 England's King Charles II died from kidney failure having inhaled excessive amounts of toxic mercury vapors. Alchemy can be a deadly obsession. Only the truly obsessed would devote millions of man hours and dollars in the pursuit of transmuting base and common metals into precious ones. Alchemy is all but a dead science today - people know they can't meddle with magnesium and make gold, tinker with zinc and make silver, or alter aluminum and make platinum. Sadly, however, spiritual alchemy is alive and well and has millions chasing the mechanical rabbit around the track. Christians are desperate for faith, hope, and love - just not desperate enough to mine them. They'd much rather try and make faith out of the abundance of their inclinations and hope out of the abundance of their daydreams and love out of the abundance of their blessings. Gold is valuable because it is rare - I'm afraid the same is true for Christianity's precious metals.

Happy Valentines Day!

2009-02-14T12:00:00.002-05:00

Love is always worth celebrating. But does saying so betray a lonesome experience? Perhaps. It's more likely the evidence of a slavish concern to secure the unpitiful good opinion of the erotic class. Whatever the case - I have no idea why I've known so much love in my life.

The Accidental Blogger

2009-02-14T11:43:00.004-05:00

It's been said that he who would pun would pick a pocket. Well a purloiner of pantaloons I'd rather be than a pedantic . . . ah never mind - I hate puns. I really do.

Carolyn Joy Tate

2009-01-22T17:37:00.002-05:00

Happy birthday to the girl who gave to the Culture lexicon the gifts "heek" and "scrumpster dumpster". In fact - I remember "heek" was so white-hot for a time that we all grew hopelessly weary of the interjection and had to officially retire it to the scrumpster dumpster. The halcyon days of Hot Pockets, sheet-cake dinners, and voyages on the Mimi - I love and miss you tonight Carolina Absoluteee. God bless you. . .

Tongues Without Chests

2009-01-13T10:48:00.002-05:00

It's by no means an absolute rule - but in general I don't want to hang out with people who use the word "freakin" as a minced oath. Either be profane or be creative. Of course I prefer the company of the latter; but the former will always do instead of suffering the half-hearted. One can't effectively combat evil who is discontented with good and as one engaged in the fight I want not their fellowship. Let's have the courage of our contentments as well as of our convictions.

January 11 - Happy Birthday Josh!

2009-01-10T11:21:00.003-05:00

Georgia's an alright state. I suppose the worst thing I can say about it is that it happens to be situated some three thousand miles away from Idyllwild, California. I'd love to spend some of every day in the company of my brother Josh. He's one of only a handful of men that I would entrust the entire world to. Among the albums of my Josh memories, I suppose the most treasured page would be the one bearing the images of April 28, 1986 when he and I both accepted Christ in the Washington D.C. Convention Center after hearing the gospel call given by Billy Graham. Brothers indeed! Love you and your family Josh - I wish so very much I could be there to celebrate the day with you. . .

Now for a conversion of another kind

2009-01-06T14:21:00.004-05:00

With the forty dollar coupon I got from the suits yesterday I went out and purchased a digital converter box for my tv. The picture is certainly far better but I can't say as much for the view. "And upon the fourth horse I saw a most curious rider. He had the body of a man and the head of a hyena and was endowed with a vulture's wings for arms and talons for feet. He cackled as he rode and the masses called after him chanting 'Maury! Maury!'"

We'll always have Baghdad. . .

2008-12-19T13:54:00.003-05:00

I suppose the passage of time will help diagnose more conclusively the causes of my helpless endearment to the President; but here's what I know: John Wayne wouldn't have done anything different at that press conference in Iraq and he would have had a script. Being a cowboy should never have become a bad thing.

I can't recall who sings them but these are some fine lines from the forbidden genre:
"I should have been a cowboy
I should have learned to rodeo ride
I'd be wearing my six-shooter
Riding my pony on a cattle drive

Stealing the young girl's hearts
Just like Gene and Roy
Singing those campfire songs
I shoulda been a cowboy"

Oh Kay. . .

2008-12-13T13:48:00.003-05:00

I hate to break it to Jane Seymour but the world already has a universal symbol of hope and love.

Happy Birthday Job!

2008-12-12T15:14:00.005-05:00

Top Ten Ways My Life Would Be Different If I Didn't Have Job For A Brother:

10) Less rock more talk
9) The coach handball highlight reel would be bereft of the "Lance Allworth"
8) I would never have been treated like royalty at Houghton College
7) My seventeenth viewing of "Tremors" would have been by myself
6) None of my mixtapes would have anything by Everclear
5) My face would have half the laugh lines
4) I would never have been able to pull off the "blue steel" pose
3) My prospects for a night's lodging in the Lincoln bedroom would be nil
2) My ping-pong self esteem would be much much lower

and the #1 way my life would differ sans Jobie Won Kenobie

1) My Bedford Falls would be a Pottersville

I love you Job - I pray God's richest blessing on you today!

Fun with Eponymy

2008-12-08T10:54:00.002-05:00

Ok - I'll give you the city and you guess which person the local airport is named after.

1) Paris
2) Rome
3) Venice
4) Anchorage
5) New Orleans
6) Tel Aviv
7) Liverpool
8) Delhi

To see is to be in debt

2008-12-08T10:48:00.002-05:00

This from A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway. . .
"If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

I love you Dad

2008-12-05T13:25:00.008-05:00

I'm planning on getting my Christmas tree this evening - the whole thing went so swimmingly last year that I've had to consider whether I was just lucky or if the whole process isn't nearly as complicated and confounding as my upbringing led me to believe. My poor dad. One Christmas season in Castleton I recall riding shotgun as my father drove me, Josh, and Job out to Orwell in the Ford Tempo. Our mission - find our tannenbaum out "in the forest somewhere". The first offering we brought back home made it inside but didn't remain long enough to melt the snow on its boughs. "Barry, I believe what you've got there is a bush" was my grandma's greeting. While all agreed that our organism certainly had the general shape of a Christmas tree it was, sadly, not in fact a tree. Back to Orwell. With Sunlight fading we happened upon the loveliest balsam one might ever hope to see. It was almost Christmas itself and it was huge! Probably twelve feet tall with branches extended way out wide like a hoop skirt. My time for this tale is short as I write this at the library and I'll have to leave out much of the case-study material for another telling; but one moment of valor must be sketched out for you. Like I said, this tree was massive and it is more accurate to say that, in preparing to take the thing home, we put the Tempo under it. As we draped it over the car, the only window that we could see out of was the windshield and that view was certainly impaired as well. But we headed for home with our prize. All was well until we started across the windswept plains of 22A in Benson. I'm not sure where we lost the old tree but the "when" was not in doubt as the car stood up and the light shone in from all around. Now the snow banks had all but taken away any shoulder that the road afforded and dad got off the road only a bit. We all hopped out thankful that traffic was light. We hefted and hoisted the tree back on the Ford and hurriedly began tieing her back down. Maybe it was the bitter cold turning our hands to ice or the eighteen-wheelers beginning to come in either direction; but we lost our heads a bit. In our haste we had successfully tied the tree snug to the car as well as all the doors snug to their frame. Yes - with the windows down and the doors shut we had run the ropes through the inside of the car effectively locking ourselves out. Josh instinctively began to untie the ropes to reverse our error when my dad stayed his hand. "I think we can climb through the windows boys" were the words I remember. What came next one could never forget - in fact I'm sure there are probably a few truck drivers telling the same holiday tale somewhere right now. My dad was a gamer that day and even the russian judge, I'm sure, would have awarded him a high score as he shoehorned himself into the Ford and my everlasting admiration.

Alexander the Great never had a more successful campaign

2008-11-29T11:26:00.004-05:00

1965 Websters dictionary entry for "Sade":

Sade, Donatien Alphonse Francois (Marquis de Sade); 1740-1814. French Soldier, pervert.

2001 Websters dictionary entry for "Sade":

Sade, Donatien Alphonse Francois (Marquis de Sade); 1740-1814. French Soldier,notorious for his paraphilia.

Another lure for your tackle box men. . .

2008-11-22T11:30:00.001-05:00

"Hey there - I thought this was a non-smoking area."

Samsonite Luggage

2008-11-22T10:59:00.007-05:00

Thomas Paine once said: "Time makes more converts than reason." That may be so. I just tire of the nearly countless inhibitions binding those whose faith was found only after the exhaustion of all their fancies. Experience is a fine teacher if one is learning a trade or refining a discipline but is a terrible teacher if one is determining the veracity of the words of a viper. Such a student might say: "The Bible tells me that peace is only found in purity. But what of the whispers that it may be achieved more enjoyably in complete moral liberty? I can think of only one way to find out!" These are the same sort of folk who would determine the legal load limit of a bridge by experimentation. What needless destruction. If you believe in the word of God for forgiveness - believe in it for direction as well.

moonroof musing

2008-11-17T11:46:00.002-05:00

One man's theology has us all hammers while another's has us all nails - actors or the acted upon. I, for one, fancy myself a hammerhead striving to fashion a handle for the God-sized hand.

The Life and Times. . .

2008-11-13T14:25:00.004-05:00

I've been drafted to run the power point presentation at tonight's Augusta Care Pregnancy Center fall banquet. When first approached about this task I, of course, said "no, I really shouldn't" and the enlister, of course, saw that I did not speak as one with authority. So the question was asked again in a less interrogative manner and a more imperitive one and so now the city's pro-life faithful and the former attorney general of Kansas will be treated to many moments of awkward anxiety and mumbled summons for persons of competence.

Wouldn't you like to know. . .

2008-11-10T12:02:00.004-05:00

I have but one bookcase in my study at the church. It's a good size - probably five or six feet wide and its height reaches the ceiling; but I have more books than it can hold. Tomes are piling up in stacks on the file cabinet, the edges of my desk, and now the floor. Whether to winnow my library or box up and exile the space-taking books to a back room of my manse in Martinez was the question. As I scanned the titles in consideration of all this - I was aghast at the chaff that had settled on my shelves. Winnow it was and tonight I am very much looking forward to toasting some marshmallows over the embers of what's left of my first ever backyard bookburning!

Ours is the depth - His the breadth

2008-11-05T15:12:00.003-05:00

I find curious the faith that has me earnestly praying today for the one I so fervently prayed against yesterday. I am captive as always to the One who sees the whole of it. I praise the sovereign God.

From the pen of F.W. Bourdillon

2008-11-05T15:10:00.001-05:00

The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the whole world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

816 Somerset Place

2008-10-28T12:21:00.002-04:00

Engine engine number nine speeding down Chicago line - if the train should jump the tracks - do you want your money back? Y-e-s spells "yes" and you are not it!

Bubblegums bubblegums in a dish - how many bubblegums do you wish? T-h-r-e-e spells "three" and you are not it!

Kick The Can anyone?

How do you measure a candidate?

2008-10-28T11:47:00.003-04:00

Our government is really not a democracy. It is, as I first read Francis Schaeffer describe it, an elective autocracy. In congressional or presidential elections, we are not voting on single issues like health care, education, or abortion - we are voting for people. These people will go to Washington as autocrats - beholden to no one. Therefore, it is our responsibility as voters to do our level best to discern what is the character of the candidate - to know the candidate's baseline for truth, his philosophy of governance, and his worldview. These men and women are going to make hundreds of decisions on our behalf, representing us. This being the case, it's absurd then to vote for a candidate who declares that his public opinion is different than his private one - for power is then ceded to pollsters. Candidates should declare for the voter what his convictions are and we may then vote for the one whose worldview best represents our own. But what of these candidates whose only conviction is to suppress their own conscience in the pursuit of faithfully ascertaining what is the majority opinion of their constituency and voting in kind? Enough! I'm particularly weary of these Catholic and Protestant Christian candidates who abhor abortion in their hearts but who claim that duty demands they vote to extend it.

"When statesmen forsake their private conscience for the sake of their public duty, they lead their country by a very short route to chaos." ~ Sir Thomas More

With Vertical Address

2008-10-24T13:29:00.002-04:00

Teach me to scorn the senses' sway,
While still to thee I tend:
In all I do be thou the Way,
In all be thou the End.
- George Herbert

Swiftie Me! (or: This Blog is on the Rims for Real)

2008-10-24T13:13:00.002-04:00

Once again - I'll supply you with some Tom Swifties to warm you up and then leave you with one or two to try and solve for yourself. Be ye either annoyed or mildly amused - either way this electronic enterprise has hit the skids.

"I'm one of the Beatles," said Ringo affably.
"I hate nouns and adjectives," said Tom proverbially.
"This sea-spray will ruin all the metal-work," said Tom mistrustfully.
"The Young Conservatives are throwing a party," said Tom meritoriously.

My everlasting love and affection for those who can complete these two:

"We'll never harvest all this hay," said Tom. . . .
"I shall get the barber-shop singers," said Tom . . .

Lapidary

2008-10-24T13:11:00.001-04:00

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you:
but it you really make them think, they'll hate you."
~ Don Marquis

moonroof musings

2008-10-13T11:20:00.004-04:00

Pulling up behind a Toyota stopped at the light at Wrightsboro and Kissingbower last night I noticed it had a Georgia specialty plate supporting animal welfare. The plate has the profiles of a dog and a cat kissing each other in a scene splashed in pastels. Affixed to the rear window was the iconic pro-choice circular sticker declaring "keep abortion legal". I suspect that those who are proponents of animal rights are abrogating their authority to avoid hypocrisy in their campaign to be free of God's authority.

New Company Car

2008-09-20T14:44:00.002-04:00

It's a sad day here at the Tate house (I suppose I can call it that because of all the junk mail that I get that's addressed to "The Tate Family").

I had to say goodbye this week to my Chevrolet Caprice Classic. Manufactured in Texas in 1992, I started driving her back in November of 2000. Once convinced of the inadvisability of going ahead with the thousands of dollars worth of prescribed repairs - I traded her in on Friday with an odometer reading of 275,500 miles.

She had many names: the ghetto sled, desert sled, u.s.s. John Isaac - I called her Betsy. She wore plates from four states - Georgia, Vermont, Connecticut, and Arizona. She carried me safely and always without incident to countless camps and other ministry opportunities. She's skipped up the San Jacinto Mountains, skated through the Vermont backwoods, and raced across the Sonoran Desert. She was such a blessing and I thank God so very much for such a wonderful car. I'm going to miss that most sweetest of rides.

My new company car is a 2005 Ford Crown Victoria. This one was manufactured in Canada - I pray she see just as much and even more than the Chevrolet!

"I am neither proud of what I have done nor of what I am now doing."

2008-09-13T13:30:00.005-04:00

Ok - according to Muslim legend - only ten animals have entered Paradise. I'll give you the non-biblical five and see if you can get those five mentioned in the Protestant canon.

Here are the revealed five:

The Cuckoo of Belkis
The Camel of the prophet Saleb
The Ox of Moses
The Dog Kratim of the Seven Sleepers
Muhammad's Ass

Here's a hint:
Two are from Genesis
One is from the wisdom literature
One is from the minor prophets
One is from the historical books

Lapidary

2008-09-13T13:24:00.002-04:00

"By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich."

- Democritus (Of course this is only true when concerning material things. It would be a wretched statement if made concerning the blessings of God.)

The Sacred Desk

2008-08-30T11:31:00.003-04:00

I'll be expositing Romans 8:12-17 tomorrow morning.

Christians allow themselves to be seduced sometimes by the siren whose song tells the toiler that he need not struggle - that holiness, while a wonderful thing, is not a necessity but a bit of a luxury. This, of course, is a lie. As a desert dweller can do without champagne but must have water - so the believer can do without acclaim but must bear the fruit worthy of it. Paul argues for the importance of holiness - declaring it a duty, a defense, an inheritance, and a fellowship. Without it - the Spirit is either proven ineffectual or one's faith less than whole - both evincing that one's hope of salvation has permanent fatal errors. It's a complicated issue - love complicates everything. The thing is not so befuddling so as to inspire despair however. We can be holy.

The Life and Times . . .

2008-08-28T14:44:00.002-04:00

The police were called to my house over the weekend along with the Columbia County Crisis Intervention Team after several neighbors called 911 expressing their great concern after seeing me attempting to erect a volleyball net by myself in the backyard. After spending a night at the West Augusta Serenity Care Center I'm happy to report that, with the help of Jeremy and Casandra, I've got my mind right and will always solicit help in the future or find contentment in less ambitious endeavors like setting up chairs.

The Sacred Desk

2008-08-02T14:39:00.002-04:00

This Sunday I'll be expositing Ephesians 5:15-17.

A little help. . .

2008-07-31T17:51:00.002-04:00

I am blessed by God with remarkable health - the last doctor I saw with any regularity was a pediatrician (Doctor Mahalahti!). Thank you Lord!!!

I have had one minor affliction that has been my constant companion however - cold hands. My hands are often ice-cold in even the hottest of weather. Now, this has never bothered me much mind you - I mean - who cares right? But given the frequency with which pastors are called upon to shake hands - I have had to endure this a z-zillion times upon shaking the hand of silver-haired and helmet-haired alike: "Whoah! You're hands are freezing John!"

I need some help - I'm running out of things to say in response. The last couple times I got it I just said "thank you" - which elicited only tilted heads and looks of concern. So, help me out here - what would you suggest I say?

It's funny cause I don't know him

2008-07-31T17:44:00.002-04:00

Ok - here's a word puzzle I heard on public radio the other day. It's pretty tough - maybe even blog-burying.

Think of a six-letter word ending in a silent letter that if you remove the silent letter becomes a five-letter word ending in two silent letters. What's the six-letter word?

Lapidary

2008-07-31T17:42:00.001-04:00

"Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity."

~ Samuel Johnson

Live from Waycross, Georgia near the Okefenokee Swamp!

2008-07-24T20:28:00.003-04:00

Once a year the pastors and delegates of the Advent Christian churches in the Georgia Conference meet to confer, I suppose, on the happenings of the previous year. Over the two days there will be reports from elected officials and church leaders, morning chapels, resolutions with a sometimes tenuous grip on reality, afternoon potluck lunches served by the ladies of the host church, spontaneous times of prayer called for by the president in response to an expressed need or challenge, a raucous sing on Friday night, lots and lots of laughter, elections without suspense, an ever-present refreshment table whose cup runneth over with homemade confections, a lively open-mic, a wonderfully thorough - and thus entertaining - parliamentarian, and lots of lore and stories.

I love the Georgia Conference and the way we endeavor together - it's a wonderfully colorful and committed group of people who often exhibit a good amount of faith in attempting to make the most of whatever opportunity we're presented from year to year. I'm really looking forward to the next couple of days with its agenda of encouragement, prayer, and potato salad.

You're so novel!

2008-07-18T15:46:00.002-04:00

Alright - I'll provide you with a few "Tom Swifties" and then you try and complete the last one!

For example:)
"Open the soup," said Tom cannily.
"Yes, we have no bananas," said Tom fruitlessly.
"It can't be the circuit-breaker," Tom refused.
"It should have an apple in its mouth," said Tom pig-headedly.
"Are you an alto or a tenor?" inquired Tom.

Got it? Ok then - here goes!

"I just rested it on the windowsill," _________ _________.

I Will Bury this Blog

2008-07-18T15:39:00.002-04:00

Do you employ the Oxford comma? Please comment and let me know!

"The 'Oxford' or 'serial' is the optional comma placed before the 'and' at the end of a list - named after the Oxford University Press house-style. It is especially useful for lists which might otherwise be ambiguous: e.g., 'My favourite shirts are from New and Lingwood, Hackett, and Turnbull and Asser'. Without the second comma it might appear that an elaborate Jermyn Street revolution had occured with Asser forced out on his own after Turnbull had joined forces with Hackett."

A Lapidary Use of the Language

2008-07-18T15:35:00.002-04:00

"One cannot review a bad book without showing off."

~ W.H. Auden

I'm back home for a few weeks. . .

2008-07-05T12:06:00.001-04:00

"God made the angels for their splendor,
animals for their innocence,
and plants for their simplicity.
But man He made to serve Him, wittily,
in the tangle of his mind."

~ Sir Thomas More

Lord willing. . .

2008-06-07T11:42:00.003-04:00

I'm off to camp for four weeks in a row beginning tomorrow after church.
I start my summer with Georgolina Junior Camp:
Box fan in the window
Wallflowers and womp 'em
Sourpunch Straws at pool time
Award bibles and composition notebooks
Monday night arguments against calling home
Huckleberry and Mary Finns
Excited alligator and boar sightings
Shadetree waterbreaks
Crafts with miss Barbara
Bible with miss Julie
Sweet tea from mister Billy
Early mornings with God

Good shot red 2!

2008-06-04T14:00:00.001-04:00

"There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

- Flannery O'Connor

A Cool Title for a Record

2008-06-02T11:25:00.001-04:00

Hand Built by Robots

- the new album by Newton Faulkner

The Monticulate Man

2008-06-02T11:21:00.001-04:00

His tackle box was short on lures
His diseases with no known cures
Alas and anon and on and on

The Sacred Desk

2008-05-31T11:39:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow morning I'll be expositing the twenty-ninth psalm. I came across this psalm in the normal course of devotional reading and was interested in the use of the word "ascribe" in the translation of the first couple of verses. Nature stands as a nearly omnipresent puzzle for any merchant still shopping for the pearl of great value. Who (or what) is the cause, the source, or the author of this unsigned masterpiece of mountainside, meadow, and bay? Nature is an argument. David then proceeds to describe a fierce storm beginning over the sea in the north and sweeping south across the entire country. The voice of the LORD is thunderclaps so loud so as to cause does to go into labor, winds so strong so as to snap proud cedars in two, storms so fierce so as to make tall mountains appear to buck as a wild ox, rain and hail so heavy so as to strip forests bare, and lightning so bright and hot so as to crack the sky in two. Through nature, God speaks to man as man speaks to a dog - in decibel levels, spankings, and strokes. The shout of the thunderclap, the whisper of the snow, the babble of the brook, the roar of the ocean, the song of the whippoorwill, the chant of the cricket all declare "glory" along with the heavenly host. Nature is a language. Finally David finds, in nature, strength and peace. The God of the flood, that great display of nature's power, is his own Father - why should he be afraid? Nature is a monument as well.

Press Conference

2008-05-31T11:19:00.004-04:00

When living in Arizona, I began a practice of holding "press conferences" for Chad, Tricia, and the church. As we were sitting around playing Mario Party, driving to Mesa for some late night disc golf, or taking our medicine at the local Sonic - I would say "Hey everybody. Let me have your attention please. I'd like to take this opportunity to declare that I'm officially coming out against fruit-flavored LifeSavers. Thank you." Or something like that. I found this to be an important and helpful way to inform my brothers and sisters about changes in my life and practice. I came out against many things while in Tempe - hot dogs, Third Day, swamp coolers, the state of North Carolina, to name just a few.

I'd like to continue the practice now through Keep The Car Running.

Hey everbody. Let me have your attention please. I'd like to take this opportunity to declare that after much deliberation and weighing of the consequences, I'm officially coming out against sweet tea. Thank you.

I love good quotes

2008-05-27T11:23:00.002-04:00

"There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it, the other that you can boast about it."
- Bertrand Russell

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen

This isn't the high ground. . .

2008-05-23T15:47:00.002-04:00

"I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything."
This was John McCain on ABC's This Week responding to questions about controversial comments made by John Hagee who has endorsed the senator for president.

Good grief - am I going to have to vote for this guy?

Pop Music's Redemption

2008-05-23T15:44:00.001-04:00

I adore the Duffy album Rockferry that came out this Tuesday. I haven't enjoyed a record this much since I was in high school - love at first note.

Fun With Phonics. . .

2008-05-23T15:41:00.001-04:00

From a George Bernard Shaw joke I read a couple days ago - "ghoti" could be an alternate spelling of what common english word?

The Life and Times. . .

2008-05-21T11:15:00.005-04:00

So it's starting to get hot again down here which means I'm starting to get this a lot: "Man John - aren't you uncomfortable in those pants? You must be burning up!"

So I'm like: "Good grief - you don't see people always asking if Indiana Jones is too warm or nagging John Wayne about wearing shorts!"

So they're like: "John, dude, - those are like superheros man."

So I'm like: "Bingo."

So they're like: "Whatever - just don't start wearing Superman's tights alright? If you ever want someone to talk to - my dad knows this guy."

The Sacred Desk

2008-05-17T11:38:00.002-04:00

This Sunday I'll be expositing Acts 16:16-24.

Seeing as how there are no more habitable unexplored continents that a persecuted church could set sail for - we best take our sanctification as believers seriously. I see three major fault lines running under America's culture and philosophical constitution that are sure to bring quakes of persecution should God ever visit our church with another great awakening. 1) Spirituality has become a natural resource. 2) Affluency has become a matter of national security. 3) Camelot has no absolute but Camelot. By arguing for "spirituality" to be an end in itself and not merely a means to our own ends - we are sure to raise the ire of those who are losing what they see as a valuable resource (much like the hatred directed to abolitionists who dared humanize the black man making him someone worthy of respect and fellowship instead of something that could be used to advance one's own selfish ends). Further, with our economy now securely built on an unbiblical frame, any great awakening would be sure to create what might be called a "revival recession". Our government has made it very clear that it will exert great force to secure unimpeded prosperity. Finally, our country has become proud and taken credit for the successes of a law and culture based on a biblical absolute. Now that we have decided that the American Way is above and beyond the religious and that we are capably governed by our own common sense - an absolute state is not far off. One absolute won't abide another that stands in judgement of it. Let us all be prepared for the sifting that we indeed are praying for if we are praying for revival.

America Idle

2008-05-15T14:04:00.002-04:00

This little essay titled Intemperate Listening is from The Art of Listening by Filson Young and was printed in the 1928 BBC Handbook. The value of its insights can only be matched by the wonder of its improbable publication.

"No one, however leisured his or her life, ought to listen all the time. There would be something excessive and intemperate about such a person. Yet like so many other things, listening to wireless transmissions may become a habit, and a bad habit. Fear that one may be missing something by not listening is one cause; but a more insidious one is the feeling that something is going on somewhere, and that rather than take the trouble to do anything else for oneself, one might as well listen to it. That, of course, is as great an injustice to the art of Broadcasting as it is to the listener himself. It is a misuse of what, properly used, can be a very real boon to the aesthetic life af any household. I would urge listeners to cultivate the art of using their wireless receivers intelligently and artistically, so that the immense care and trouble that are taken in compiling and presenting the programmes shall achieve their true direction and effect."

Georgian's own brand of cabin fever not far off now. . .

2008-05-15T14:00:00.002-04:00

"What dreadful hot weather we have!
It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance."

~ Jane Austen

From the greatest state in the Union. . .

2008-05-11T07:36:00.002-04:00

The painting which now adorns the frontispiece of KTCR is an original work done by the hand of one Tricia Irving of Tempe, Arizona! Tricia, also known in the fellowship of the Wu as Ghostface Killah, sent it to me for my birthday and I absolutely adore it. Special thanks to my "We build! We fight! Can do!" brother Job for spanning the great chasm that is my technological ineptitude and hanging the painting. Happy Mothers Day from Vermont!

~ Inspektah Dek

Lord willing. . .

2008-05-07T11:15:00.002-04:00

I leave tomorrow morning for Massachusetts. I'll be giving the commencement address at my alma mater - the Berkshire Institute for Christian Studies. That an institution like BICS exists at all and that I should be so blessed to have known it as an enrolled student is a wonderful and gracious act of providence. This year marks BICS twentieth anniversary - I earnestly pray it lasts long enough to minister to several more generations. God bless that little house of bread in the Berkshires!

Gleanings from readings. . .

2008-05-05T11:05:00.003-04:00

I read in the USA Today recently that in 2006 the amount of unclaimed lottery winnings in the United States totaled over 570 million dollars. "Wowie zowie!" as my niece Lucy Gates would say. But that sum would be seen as a dull penny if put up against the number of blessings unclaimed by Christians.

In Luke 11 Jesus tells the parable of the man who knocks on his neighbor's door at midnight for bread to serve a friend who has just arrived from a long journey. He is refused at first but is persistent and continues to knock until he shakes the man from his sheets and receives the bread he needs. Christ tells this tale in the context of a conversation He's having on the practice of prayer. We are being taught to be as persistent in our entreaties made to our heavenly Father. "And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it shall be opened." (9 - 10) This seems simple enough until Jesus reveals what it is that should cause us to go knocking desperately at the midnight hour: "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" (11 - 13) The Holy Spirit is what God is promising to provide - in this lies the problem.

In the times I've spent at the altar with people who have come forward after their consciences have been quickened, hearts broken, minds rankled by the preaching of the Word - I've heard many of them cry out to God, earnestly asking Him for self-control, or peace of mind, or love, or joy, or the ability to be faithful. Sadly, many of these people will leave that altar knowing that their prayers didn't get above the chapel ceiling. They earnestly desire the ends but despair of the means. All that they so desperately want in their lives is clearly the fruit of the Spirit. The Israelites couldn't ask for milk and honey in the wilderness when it was promised to them in Canaan and we can't ask for a victorious Christianity in independence when it is promised to us in submission. I can't think of any treasure that we truly want that isn't promised to us through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Why are we so often terrified of claiming the winnings?

Evocative lyric for the day. . .

2008-04-28T15:17:00.003-04:00

"She was sitting cross-legged on the hood of the Ford
filing down her nails with an emery board."

~ from Young Love by The Judds

The Sacred Desk

2008-04-26T16:11:00.004-04:00

The sermon tomorrow will be an exposition of Deuteronomy 7:1-5.
None of us are held hostage by our sin - every sin in our lives is an invited guest. The Israelites could not complain when pagan peoples and elements poisoned the promised land and became a thorn in the sides of generations to come. God had defeated those seven nations that were greater than them. Israel let them up off the mat. When we become believers we find our "promised land" in much the same shape that the Israelites found theirs. We find that it is not unoccupied but filled with many well fortified and defended strongholds of sin, deception, and rebellion. All of these strongholds are stronger than we are but God has defeated them. It is our calling and life's purpose to "tear down", "smash", "hew", and "burn" all those institutions of our former disposition and build and inhabit that city on a hill from which flows milk and honey.

OED anyone?

2008-04-24T13:57:00.002-04:00

An "icononym" is a brand name that, because of the brand's overwhelming success, has come to identify its particular product and all other products like it.

Don't ever venture out of the house on any errand without something to read (or little children to entertain) lest you find yourself using a waiting room to do only that - wait. But if you should forget your book, magazine, or offspring one day - try and come up with as many icononyms as you can - it might be sorta fun if you're easily amused.

Here are just a few to get you started:

Q-tip
Kleenex
Bondo
La-Z-Boy